Yesterday was just “one of those days”. I have them all of the time, but I typically just suck it up. I work a lot of hours at my job through the week and it never fails that I have to come in on the weekends and put some time in as well. I stay stressed about it and Church and my home have always been an escape from that stress for me. The last couple of months I’ve been singing a different tune, though. Church has started to be a source of my stress and I’ve only been able to shake it during Praise and Worship.
I struggled with depression several years ago and it took me a long time to shake it. Ever since I claimed victory over that battle I’ve prided myself in being the guy that just puts his faith in God and never lets things get to him. I guess I just have no interest in letting myself get in that shape again so I do everything in my power to control the things I have power over, and believe me; we have power over stress and especially how we react to it. This past Sunday I let it all get to me. Stress from Church, stress from work and stress I’ve created for myself weighed on me hard.
On top of being the guy that never let’s things get to him, I’m also the guy that never let’s things fly on social media. I let that guard down yesterday as well. I pulled off the road on the way home and tried to put together what I was feeling in a few lines for a facebook status and I ended up typing out this…
It’s one of those days…
Where my fear and my stress occupy my heart more than my faith does.
Need a reminder.
Need some help.
I got several texts, comments and messages in response from some friends trying to encourage me and I’m glad I surround myself with people that are able to do that for me, but it’s what happened when I got home that I really felt God move in my situation.
I have a ritual every Sunday night when I get home from Church. I turn on the TV and I watch a show called Amplify that’s basically thirty minutes of modern Praise and Worship. I didn’t like the first song they played so I skipped to the next one and I had heard it before so I left it on there. I had never paid attention to all of the words and as I sat there on the couch next to my wife and dog I had to hold back tears as Kari Jobe basically sang the song that was in my heart.
“I know that You are for me – I know that You are for me
I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness.
I know that You have come now even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are – Come and remind me”
I’ve got the video down here in case any of you guys want to listen to it. Don’t try to be too strong. Sometimes you need to just let God and everyone know that you need to be reminded who He is. He’ll make it happen. Promise.